The Duo Show
by PinkyLemon
Summary: What does Duo do when no one's around? Why, talk to his imaginary audience! The boys intervene. Chaos ensues. R&R would be greatly appreciated. ^_-V


Hello, all. This was one of my first attempts at writing a fanfic when I was like 13 or 14. Well, I'm 17 now, SO, wayyyy back in tha' day, I used to go by Saturn Goddess and write really silly things like this (translation: stupid & idiotic because I was high on my own imagination...). So, here ya go. A completely nonsensical story about Duo's imaginary "Show", featuring funny faces and Duo's odd grammar. Enjoy. P.S.- "Da boiz" ain't mine. Tho I wish dey wuz fo sho! 'Specially that *fine* brotha' Wufei. Peace! Translation: I don't own the following characters. Well, duh.-PinkyLemon   
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This fic has been 'slightly' modified from it's original version to make more sense (if at all possible) and to suit what the author now deems to be more humorous. Thank You.   
The Duo Show!!!!!! Ta da!!!!! part 1:  
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Here we see our `special' friend, Duo, sitting on an upside down bucket in the middle of an empty room. He is talking into an empty can on a broom stick (it's his microphone. ssshhhh! *puts finger to mouth*)  
  
"Oy, minna! Welcome to the Duo Show!"   
  
Starts singing.   
  
"It's my show and it's really cool 'cause it's my show and I'm really cool!!! If you had a show you'd be really cool, too. But you don't have a show and I do! So, ha, ha, ha! Hey, hey, hey! Okay, I'm done. Whew! It's Duo, I'm back.:) Miss me? Huh? Did you say something? ......What's this you call me?"   
  
Puts ear towards 'audience'.   
  
"Singing Impaired?!" =0 *gasp*   
  
"Ohhhhh, oh, oh, oh! I see! Fine then." Sheds a bitter tear.   
  
"I see how you are. All I was trying to do was welcome you ppls to my show, but noooooo!"   
:0 (see me? that arrow is pointing to me saying noooooo)   
  
"Oh!? ?_? You say you're sorry? Okay, then," satisfied for the moment.  
  
Just then, Quatre walks in.   
  
"Hello, Duo. What are you doing?" the innocent boy inquires.  
  
"I'm, uh, just-um..." Duo studders.   
  
"What does it look like he's doing?"   
  
Wufei enters the room-*drool* jaws drop, hearts stop...   
  
"He's talking to his `imaginary' audience, again. You would never catch me doing something like that," he huffs.  
  
Trowa and Heero enter also and Duo gets an evil grin. (you're in for it now Wufei...-_-;)   
  
A lightbulb appears above Duo's head.   
  
"Of course you wouldn't waste your time talking to an imaginary audience because you're too busy talking to..."   
  
Duo pauses, holding the tension "-your stuffed..."   
  
Wufei holds his breath.   
  
"PANDAAAAA!!!!!!!"  
  
Meanwhile...Tourists at the Grand Canyon wonder `where in the heck's that noise coming from?'  
  
Wufei turns green as everyone stares at him.  
  
Trowa and Heero have amused looks on their faces, but Quatre remains quiet.   
  
"Ha, ha! How do you like them apples?"   
  
Wufei crosses his arms and looks down at his feet.  
  
"Duo, what's wrong with talking to stuffed animals? Sometimes, you just get lonely..." Quatre stops talking because of the looks he recieves from the others.   
  
"You guys wanna help me with my show? It's really fun! :)-" Duo says energetically.   
  
"It's really fun...nya..." Wufei mocks sticking his tongue out.   
  
"Shut up, panda boy! ... Umm, humm... That's what I thought. Yep..."  
  
"Duo, be quiet," Heero says out of the blue.  
  
"Oh, Heero-" Duo waves a hand.  
  
"I mean it, Duo."   
  
Quatre starts to perspire. "Alright, alright everyone. Let's just get along..."   
  
"Quatre's right. We need peace for a while," Trowa actually speaks...-_-;   
  
"Trowa's right. I mean, we should-" Duo starts.  
  
Heero gets to the point. "Duo...It's time to go now."  
  
Whining, "Already?! I still wanna talk, though!" Duo says, stomping his foot.  
  
"Of course...stupid fool...weakling, too...," grumbles Wufei.  
  
"Shhhhuuuuuutt uuuuuppp! Wufei the- PANDA LOVER! Hmph!"  
  
"Shut up, Duo," Heero almost sighs.   
  
"Weeeeelllll then!!!! Ruin everyone's fun... Okay, minna. I gotta go now. But come to my next show 'cause it's gonna be great! Byyyyyeeeeee!" Duo waves with an idiotic grin that could only be induced by too much sugar.  
  
"Yeah, great when it finally ends," Wufei rolls his eyes.  
  
"Ok. I'm ignoring you now," Duo sticks his fingers in his ears.   
  
Wufei's pride tarnished, "How dare you ignore me!", he snaps.  
  
"I can't hear you, I can't hear you! Bye to all my LOYAL fans!" Duo turns around and his braid wacks Wufei in the face.  
  
"You feind! Justice! Justice will be served for this insolence! I WILL live up to your honor, Nataku! Justice!!!!" Wufei practically throws a hissy fit.   
  
"Oh, did I hit you, Wufei? So sorry. Hee,hee," Duo says in a girly-boy way....   
  
"YOU!"   
  
Wufei has had enough.   
  
poetic insertWufei leaps through air and lunges at Duo, but Heero snags his feet as they gracefully glide through the air, causing his face to "graze" the floor (actually SMACK). Quatre (being the sensitive soul that he is) winces. Before Wufei comes to his senses, Trowa bends over and "gently" picks him up under the arms. end poetic insert  
  
"Aaaarrrgggg! Justice! Justice!" he screams while swinging his arms menacingly at Duo.   
  
"Nya, nya, nya, nya, nya!" Duo sticks his tongue out and taunts Wufei as Heero and Trowa carry him away.   
  
"Kiss this, justice boy!" Duo shakes his butt at Wufei and smacks it. This makes him angrier and he grabs the door frame with both hands trying to get free.   
  
"Heero..." Trowa signals his `partner-in-pain'.   
  
Heero lets go of Wufei's ankles, then avoids his swinging legs. Trowa nods and Heero chops Wufei in the neck, knocking him unconsious. o.O  
  
  
"Oh, you guys, not so rough with him. That's going to hurt when he wakes up," Quatre sympathizes with even the most jerky of jerks. *chuckle*  
  
Heero grabs his ankles again and looks up at Quatre, "I know."   
  
He and Trowa proceed to carry the brutalized Wufei to his room. (I'm crying for you Wufei T_T sorry, I still luv ya!)   
  
"Heh, heh...Maybe I went a little too far with the teasing...." Duo scratches the back of his head.   
  
"I think so, Duo. You'll have to appologize to him tomorrow, I think you hurt his feelings..." Quatre says gently.   
  
"Yeah, I guess so...He's a pretty sensitive guy ya' know. Oh, I hope he doesn't hate me forever!" Duo slaps his hands to the sides of his face in anguish.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll talk to him if you wish."   
  
"Really?" Duo said hopefully.   
  
Wufei really was his friend and he took a lot from Duo, but being knocked out by Heero must have been the worst. Now Duo really felt bad.   
  
"I just don't know, Wufei trusted me not to tell anyone about his panda...He was already mad because I was layin' on his bed, 'cause mine was covered with food, and I found it behind his pillow. Huh, he said I was snooping through his stuff..." Duo picks up a can of pop, opens it, and started guzzling.   
  
"Don't worry, I'll just tell him about my stuffed camel that I sleep with."   
  
Duo almost spit out the pop he'd been chugging.  
  
"You, too?! Well, I guess I shoulda' seen it coming. After all, you are the guy with the `universal space heart'."   
  
"Oh, Duo...Well, it's time to say good bye to the audience. I think they've put up with enough of your 'show' for today..."  
  
"Enough?!"   
  
Duo goes physco.   
  
"My show is NEVER enough! NEVER! There must be more, there must be!"   
  
"It has to end eventually."   
  
"NEVAAAARRRR!"   
  
Heero and Trowa come back.   
  
"You're in denial, Duo," Trowa knows de-nial isn't just a river in Egypt. *narf*  
  
"Give it up," Heero says flatly.   
  
"It's late, we have to go." Quatre has a bedtime....the Manganacs made him!!!   
  
"WHAAAAA!!!!!!" Fake crying.   
  
"Don't make us do to you what we did to Wufei," Heero warns.   
  
"He should be out for at least a day or so," finishes Trowa.   
  
Duo does a (over exaggerated) huge sigh.   
  
"Ooooohhhhhhkaaaaayyyyy. I'm a comin', I'm a comin'...(drastic mood swing) Well, minna, thanks for comin' to my crrraaaaazzzzzaaaayyyyy show! See ya next time, on THE DUO SHOW!!!!"   
  
*Beam* "I like my show." :) Sheepish grin.   
  
"Next time, we'll be taking over." Trowa has world domination in mind?   
  
"Hai," Heero agrees. Or at least radio station domination...   
  
"Oh, dear..." Quatre looks off to the side nervously.  
  
"Now, wait A minute! This is MY show!" Duo throws his arms into the air, waving madly.  
  
"Wanna bet?" Seems Heero's a gambling man-er boy...  
  
"Not for long." Trowa has a busy schedule, domination must be done quickly.   
  
"I hate confrontations..."+_+; Quatre likes peace...  
  
"You are too WEAK to have your own show!" Wufei evidently had a quick recovery. XO  
  
He staggars into the room and leans against the doorframe holding the back of his neck.   
  
"Uh, oh... Welp, gotta jet! Ja ne, minna! Thanx fer comin'!" Duo says hastily.   
  
Heero, Trowa, and a staggaring Wufei approach Duo.  
  
"Y'all come back now, hear?!" Duo waves wildly and backs away from the others.   
  
"Would this happen to be yours, Duo? Or should I say... PIG GREASER!?" Wufei holds out a furry, stuffed pig.   
  
"Nooooooo! OINKY! Give him baaaaack!" Duo wails like a 2-year-old.   
  
Wufei tosses it to Trowa, who tosses it to Heero. Duo runs after him, but he tosses it to Wufei and it ends up as a big game of monkey in the middle.   
  
"Well, looks like I'll have to close up. Bye, everyone! And thank you for coming!" Quatre waves good bye just as the pig hits him in the head.   
  
The sound of yelling and lauging boys can be heard into the night. That is, until the neighbors call the cops and everyone gets arrested...But that's another story...   
  
0:)-Angela aka PinkyLemon aka The Hiatus Master P.S.-Maybe I'll be "inspired" to make a part 2 if I get enough reviews....*Hint*Hint* Thankies to Kayla, for being the first to read my internet-bound stories and laugh at the stupidest parts. Also, for giving me that Duo on a bucket idea. Arigato!!! 


End file.
